That’s the problem with not being part of an elite group of friends…you spend all of your time alone. You hangout when it’s at the convenience of your friends, who are really just acquaintances.

I’m so tired of constantly losing. I find happiness only to lose it. I’m so tired of walking this world alone. I’m getting old now and my time is running short. When will I mean something to somebody? When will I be good enough? When will I be worth the sacrifices I’ve made for others? Why do I always have to stand alone? I’m just tired…tired of trying.

I never thought you would treat me like an expendable. Why should I expect anything more? My mother did, the military did, my ex-wife did. Every significant person in my life has thrown me away as if I wasn’t good enough. It’s been a constant pattern and now I’m told it really is my fault? I give 110% to all my loved ones. When do I get back the same respect?

Once again I’ve lost a part of myself. Why did I think for one second that I could ever be appreciated. Nothing I do in my life is satisfactory for anyone I know. It’s always too little or too much. I’ll never be good enough for this world! The worst part…I’m doing all I can to become a better person. Then why do I constantly get treated like a piece of garbage?

I do put all of my eggs in one basket because I trust you.

And nobody ever reads this blog. What’s the point?

This is how I feel on a daily basis…you’d never know it though.